Saturday, 31 December 2011

Jilly Goolden

Jilly "I've had a starching proppa facelift and parts of my vulva have been put on my fuckin' ugly old crone boat"' Goolden.

Pure rage courses through my veins whenever I catch this posh irritating voiced, self opinionated cunt on the telly. I have a homicidal urge to destroy. Anything.

I would enjoy putting my size 11 foot in her diseased fanny with extreme prejudice once and for all.

And if that other cunt John Burton Race got in the way, he'd fucking get it an all......

Nominated by Hurling Dervish

Michael Buble

Michael Buble is a perma grinned white toothed Canadian wank actor and shit singing type of Cunt.

When he does his poncy dancing he looks just like a spastic Troy Tempest.

Fuck off back to Canada you annoying Argie shagging bastard.


Cilla Black

Cilla fucking Black

What a fucking talentless harridan of a cunt.

Did anyone from Liverpool ever talk like that or is that what living in the home counties for 4 fucking decades does?

With a singing voice like finger nails scraping a blackboard and a face like a fucking gargoyle.

Worra cunt.

Nominated by cuntstable cuntbubble

Brian Blessed

Brian Blessed - what a big, blustery, bearded, bursting with baritone bollockiness, booming bastard he is.
Full of his own oh so clever, anecdotal fucking wind.
A cunt of the highest degree.

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Thursday, 22 December 2011

The Clash

The Clash are cunts.

Yeah, right on, fucking rich boys playing radicals, with their designer punk clothes.

I wish that open topped cadillac had crashed and a bus had run over their fucking greasy heads.

The Cunts

Nominated by sandinista cool man yeah right-on baby

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Piers Morgan [5]

Piers Morgan is the biggest cunt imaginable.

He's got one of those faces that you'd never get sick of punching !!!

It's all well and good that he fucked off to America !! He's a money grabbing, celebrity arse licking Simon Cowell cocksucking, thieving lying cunt of the highest order!

Surely the King of CUNTS

Nominated by Anonymous

Sir Philip Green

Sir Philip Green is a money grabbing Jewish cunt! And has no worries about the present economical climate as he's stashed all his money that he's robbed of the tax payers in the Cayman islands!

So fuck Dixons,Curry's and all the stores he owns, I hope they all go under before Christmas!! money grabbing old cunt of cunts.
Nominated by EDDIE-F

Olly Smith [2]

Olly Smith, the presenter of Iron Chef UK

The fucker even has his own website for fucks sake! It won't be long before the upper class knob end is fucking everywhere on the telly.

Here's a few gems from his ego 'tastic website -

Olly cooks.
Olly loves animals.
Olly can name all four Ghostbusters. Can you?
Olly speaks French, Spanish, a nibble of German, and a tiddle of Indonesian.
Olly’s favourite films are Time Bandits, Kind Hearts and Coronets, Condorman, Jaws, The Spy Who Loved Me, The Court Jester and The Empire Strikes Back.
Olly is constantly learning to play golf.
Olly is a devotee of several TV series which he watches while travelling in between gigs – Deadwood, Curb your Enthusiasm, Dexter, The Shield, The Wire, The Sopranos, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy, The West Wing and Neighbours (between 1987 and 2004).
Olly is a massive fan of cricket, rugby union and tennis.
Olly sang as a chorister at King’s College Cambridge and won several music scholarships on the French Horn, as a singer, playing the piano and even the organ. Now he rocks out on guitar and roars his bellowing soft rock to the delight of all his neighbours.
Olly is addicted to crack cocaine.
Olly’s favourite composer is Ralph Vaughan Williams.
Olly is the world’s biggest James Bond fan and can liberally quote all the movies and recognise most Bond soundtracks within five seconds.
Olly has consistently called his friend Nick ‘Jack’ for over four years.
Olly’s favourite place for breakfast is Bill’s in Lewes.
Olly goes running. Sometimes as far as 10 inches.
Olly goes fishing.
Olly is a motherfucker who likes to play with his genitals in public and
looks a bit like an albino labia.

* the last one is true and all the others are complete bollocks taken from his cunting self flagellating website.

What a fucking prize cunt pasty!

Nominated by Hurling Dervish

Tuesday, 20 December 2011


Adele? What a fucking fat, overrated, 'managed to hoodwink the entire population into thinking it's cool to buy her (shit) albums', fingernails down a blackboard, seal voiced (the marine creature, not the artist whose face looks like it's been run over by a tractor), most smacked arse faced cunt in living memory.

Thank Christ for throat nodules, they've silenced her (at least momentarily - any reprieve from the blanket coverage of this cash rich, talent poor bitch is welcome). What a cunt.

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Nicolas Sarkozy [4]

Sarkozy is a dwarf monghumping cunt of the first order.

His head is so far up Merkels arse he can see the Lib Dems!

Fucking frog wankstain

Nominated by Ollie Burtons Grandad

Nick Clegg [7]

Nick Clegg is a stupid, immature cowardly cunt for going AWOL in the House of Commons after Camermong temporarily found a bit of spine and told the EU to fuck off.

I would go further; he is such a cunt that, when he dies, the post mortem will reveal that instead of bollocks he has two IOUs from the EfuckingU. The whey-faced, untrustworthy, unintelligible, economically illiterate, ring-piece of a Cunt.

Nominated by Caratacus

Boots The Chemist

Boots the cunting 'here come the girls' chemist are a bunch of sexist, patronising, utterly fucking bastardly cunts.

For fuck's sake get a new pissing tune, oh and that pair of bints pretending to have colds but still soldiering on with work, shopping etc. while the man is at home with a cold (oh, bless...), well I could just whack them in the face with a bat. And no, I haven't got an advantage card, I've wedged it up the nick of my arse.


Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Bob Crowe

Where to start really, this fucking flapping rectum is a right 'champagne socialist' and no mistake. I don't know which is worse, the fucking idiot cunt unions who pay for his lovely cosy and lavish £120,000 a year, plus expenses lifestyle, eating in the finest restruants and expanding his fucking huge blubbery gut even further.

I honestly wish he'd fucking fall under one of his fucking trains the fat fucking cunt. Or choke to death on one of Heston Blumenthal's pork pies.

Crowe must have been to a different school than the rest of us, and I have a feeling it must have been that celebrated establishment, the school of totally enormous fat cunt parasites (which is probably where Eric Pickles went as well...)

What a bloated cokernee cunt. CUNT!

Nominated by HurlingDervish

Grayson Perry

Grayson Perry, Turner prize winning potter cunt on a candy shop Harley.

What a total cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Jools Holland

Jools Fucking Holland, a two legged Hemorrhoid and a total Grade A Cunt. Ivory tinkling tosspot who is in dire need of a good fucking kicking

His last show ranked a 9.7 on the Cunter scale, what a fucking annoying bastard


Gary Lineker

Gary fucking Lineker is an incredibly annoying jug lugged smug Cunt.

He even presents "Cunt of the Day" the twat.

Thank Christ his shitty Crisp adverts have been fucked off our screens, Walkers Crisps?

More like Wankers Crisps. Fucking Cunt.


Friday, 9 December 2011

Striking Public Sector Workers

Striking Public Sector Workers are all greedy, lazy, bastard cunts, who don't realise what lucky cunts they are to have a job with a pension. Selfish cunts every one of them.

Nominated by Peter


The BBC are having cut backs, so now all they fucking do is show old repeats on each channel,BUT still charge the same fee !!!

NOW how the fuck can anyone call that value for money (beyond me why anyone pays them at all) people who pay them in my humble opinion must be deluded or scared old age pensioners who are scared shitless in case the DETECTOR VAN comes round ????

Nominated by EDDIE-F

Robbie Williams [3]

I would put the boot into that useless cunt Gary Barlow, but his fuckin' simian mate Robbie 'I'm a David Dickinson real deal sized cunt' Willams should really take the dog shit dipped biscuit just for being a wanky, smelly looking, ugly, fucking massive gobbed cunt of a prince cunt amongst cunts. Waazaaaa!

Nominated by HurlingDervish

Gloria Hunniford

Gloria Hunniford is an overly coiffed, gruff voiced, parsnip legged, inexplicably besequinned on a daily basis, QUNT of a man-woman.

For feck's sake, woman, relax your fucking hair, dress more casually sometimes (Dennis fucking Basso doesn't fucking need your fucking cunting endorsement 24/7) fuck me blind.......(deep, even breaths) fuck off.......

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Nick Ferrari

I had the missfortune to tune into that fat right wing arse licking, murdoch worshiping breakfast LBC radio presenting cunt Nick 'geezer, man of the people' Farrari this morning.

Surely this cunt speaks for all the cunt wafting black cab drivers with his pearls of pure racism and sexism, whilst all the time sucking up to Cameron and his oily fuckin' cronies.

I have honestly never listened to such a control freakery type fat, enormous Pillsbury dough boy of a 'can't climb more than two sets of stairs without heart palpitations' type fat prick in all my days.

Ferrari you have cuntishness ingrained in you like the grain in a plank of wood you thoroughbred fat cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

The Welsh

The Welsh are all cunts. The fucking lot of them. They sell you a cottage, take your money to renovate it, then burn it down and charge you to rebuild it.

And when you criticise them, they winge on and on and on, taking no fucking notice of what you are saying and accuse you of being a bigot. The bastards hate everyone but themselves.

And have you noticed that when you go into a welsh pub, they all stop talking English and revert to Welsh! Fucking ignorant cunts!

No wonder a sheep tied to a lamp post passes for a leisure centre in Cardiff. Inbred, ignorant, xenophobic, self-opinionated cunts the lot of them!

And the cunts can't sing either.

Nominated by English Bigot

Jeremy Clarkson

Where is JEREMY CLARKSON on this site?

Surely some fucker must have nominated him by now??

Fuckin rat pissed off to China (best place for him, hope he stays there!), but must say I'm really surprised his boat race isn't been on here at least a dozen times !!

What a complete CUNT !!

Nominated by Anonymous

Saturday, 26 November 2011


This Guest Post is by Dioclese, who won DeadPool2

Neighbours are cunts. No - not those Neighbours, my fucking neighbours!

Their dogs piss on my plants, they park their cars on the pavement in front of my door, try to steal my garden ornaments, drop oil on our drive and generally behave like a bunch of self-opinionated, egocentric fucking arseholes.

And they've all got big houses on 110% mortgages, flash cars on the never never, maxed out credit cards, and important jobs. Well, I'm glad the cunts are important at work because they're fuck all round here.

And when I complain, it's my fault their dogs have nowhere else to piss, my fault that they have to pay for the car park next door. It's always my fault whatever they do, the cunts. The other day one of the cunts came banging on my door because I complained he'd parked in front of my garage door and I couldn't get my car out. Apparently that was my fault because he couldn't find anywhere else to park! Then the cunt told me that all my neighbours hate me and I should fuck off and live somewhere else. Well, fuck him, the cunt! Fuck 'em all. I'll stay here and outlast the bastards.

But what really gets me about these cunts is that they all think I should care what they think of me, but they don't give a flying fucking fuck what I think of them because I don't fucking count. What a bunch of cunts! 

Nominated by Dioclese

Matt Lucas and David Walliams

Matt Lucas and David Walliams are cunts. They are not as funny as they think they are.

Matt Lucas is a homophobic pigugly queen who would normally only live in a dark room of a seedy gay bar in East London, and David Walliams has a bit too much fun dressing up as women and showing his ass to everyone and licking old bints' feet. In interviews they always tell each other how super hilariously funny they are.

Well, sorry, you are on my cunt-radar for having only one joke (gays and fat people and poor people and transvestites are funny, well, not necessarily, as you cunts keep demonstrating). Come fly with me to cunt-hell.
Nominated by bobolala

Guy Verhofstadt

Guy Verhofstadt is a slimy Belgian, who sits in the European Parliament thinking he is the dogs bollocks...except for one thing, he isnt, he is a cunt.

...also he looks like Ken from Citizen Smith, I liked Ken though, not that bastard. He also looks like every other Belgian on the planet, which means your children arent safe as he'd lock them in a cellar.

Then kill them.
Nominated by danidiot

Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel...Barge Arsed, Badger faced, Ice Fannied Teutonic Cunt.

Spending her time and Germanys money to buy a new Reich.

All that and she probably gives Cameron a good tug each time they meet.

A proper sly Cuntmunter


Friday, 25 November 2011


Cybermen, what a total bunch of Intergalactic Cunts.

Scary? My arse, fucking useless monsters of the first degree.

Looked like the BBC grabbed the local pissheads, gave them some tins of special brew to neck down then covered them in tinfoil and stuck a hoover on their backs.

Fucking rubbish spastic Cunts.


Kitty Brucknell

Kitty Brucknell from X-Factor is a freaky cunt
Nominated by King Binge

Ricky Gervais

Ricky Gervais is a plagiaristic, should be sued for nicking ideas of others, fat ex-new romantic eyeliner wearing, double chinned Simon Cowel look a like spastic, bum boy stephen marchant loving, Celebrity arse hole licking, as funny as a dose of tetanus, piggy eyed, penis faced, pot bellied fucking arse holing wanker cunt prick of the highest order.

And, no cunt has nominated him yet so I fucking will. I wouldn't piss on your coffin, and I'd get more entertainment from watching fuckin' Dulux drying!
Fuck off Gervias you cunt!

Nominated by HurlingDervish


Who the fuck do FIFA think they are to tell us not wear poppies on football kit. Those Nazi loving, corrupt, bribe taking, Jew hating cunts would not be in a position to dictate anything if brave British soldiers had not lost their lives liberating Europe from the Third Reich.

Ungrateful cunts. How fucking dare they insult their liberators.

Can someone take that obese cunt Septic Bladder outside and stone him to death.
Nominated by peter

Nicolas Sarkozy

Nicolas Sarkozy is an ungrateful French Cunt who spends his day sucking German Cock whilst telling his country's liberators, the Brits, to Fuck Off. Today on armistice day we remembered those who were killed liberating his county TWICE from German occupation. Does he remember, does he give a fuck?

No he is too busy setting up a new Vichy Government for the Fourth Reich run by Angela Mengle/Merkel.

What a waste of British blood to allow a cunt like him to exist.

Nominated by peter

Brodie Clark [2]

Brodie Clark, what an untrustworthy,incompetent, sly, Vulcan eared, pointy chinned Cunt of the first order.

Lets all the shit of the Universe into the UK but its not his fault. Remember the Whitemoor Prison Inquiry where you could not tell the truth?

You lying bastard, lets hope you get royally butt fucked this time. Fucking Cunt.

Nominated by Carole Upshall

Robbie Keane

Robbie Keane.....hateful pisshole-in-the-snow eyed, diving, sly handballing, cheating, pleading for players to be booked, roll and fire an arrow fuckwitted spide, I've always supported every team that wants to sign me cunt
Nominated by bob rocks

Lord Taylor of Warwick

Lord Taylor is a thieving lying old Tory cunt who got away with a cushy prison sentence only to walk straight out into the House of Lords again!

By all accounts another Jeffrey Archer! When is this fucking country going to get its act together and stop letting these bastards get away with robbing us all blind...(give me fucking strength!)

Nominated by EDDIE-F

Occupy Exeter

"Occupy Exeter" bunch of wannabe cunts, here's their Blogspot homepage

Go on, tell them what you think cunters.

Nominated by banned

Seth McFarlane

Seth McFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad other boring shit) is a repetitive paedophile cunt.

All his stories contain babies or really young kids. What a fucking nonce.
Plus all the series he has a hand in are fucking shit, stereotypical, boring, as unfunny as an Eddie Murphy movie.

The yanks don't even want his shit, so like the twats we are we end up paying for this shit out of our license fee only for it to end up on bloody channel BBC 53 or whatever graveyard shit channel it is.

The prick probably costs me a fucking pack of fags every week.

Rancid cunt.
Nominated by Hurling Dervish

Internet Explorer

Internet fucking Explorer, a proper Cunty fucking program devised by a proper bunch of Cunts.

Upgrade this you Microsoft bastards.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Jimmy Saville

Jimmy Savile is a dead disturbing cunt.
Nominated by cuntstable cuntbubble

Mary, Queen of Scots

Mary, Queen of Scots: Queen of Cunts more like. Lacked morals by being another Jock cousin shagger and even married a bastard Frenchman.

Only the thick as fuck Jocks could think that a God bothering Swamp pig of a woman was a martyr.

Charles Dunstone

Charles Dunstone the chief executive of TalkTalk/Tiscrapi as a 110%, gold plated CUNT. I'm sick of his shite "communications" company throttling my bandwidth to sub dial-up speeds. And as for the jokingly called "tech support" - they couldn't diagnose a child's abacus.

I hope he dies a slow and painful death...
Nominated by microdave

Downton Abbey

The entire cast, crew and writers of that kaleidoscope of cunts that is 'Downton Abbey' for a Daily Mail sanctioned fucking upper class ridden pile of steaming fucking donkey turds.

A cavalcade of racist, sexist, ageist and just about any other 'ist' you can care to mention.
Nominated by HurlingDervish

Roscoe Conkling "Fatty" Arbuckle

Roscoe Conkling "Fatty" Arbuckle is a silent Film star type of Cunt. He was the original OJ; a fat, unfunny Yank and a murdering rapist who got off due to his fame and immense fucking gut.
Anyone with a name like Conkling deserves to be fucking Cunted. His parents were obviously a pair of typical American retards

Vince Cable [4]

The Cunishness of Vinnie "cunt of the coalition'" Cable knows no bounds. It appears that Her Majesty's secretary of State for Business does not know how to fill in a tax return. What a thieving cunt he is. Maybe he is actually Scottish as that might explain it.
Nominated by peter

David Sexton

David Sexton is a nasty, authoritarian, control freak of a cunt with such a phobia of seeing so much as a wisp of tobacco smoke, let alone a smoker enjoying themselves, that he wants to shit on private property and ban smoking in the car you own and the house you call home.

And then, because he's also a stupid cunt who hasn't thought about how happy it would make the smugglers, he wants to outlaw smoking altogether.

He's a cunt, did I mention that?
Nominated by Angry Exile

Paul Stewart

Strathclyde Fire and Rescue Service group commander Paul Stewart is a murdering cunt.

"The operation had a ‘successful outcome’"

Yeah, and the poor lady died, because a jumped up tosser started spouting 'Elf and Safety bollocks...
Nominated by Microdave

Friday, 4 November 2011

David Cameron [10]

We should have a referendum on whether DAVID CAMERON is a cunt or not, but unfortunately the Fourth Reich loving cunt won't let us have one!
Nominated by Dioclese

Abu Izzaden

Islamic Shitpot Abu Izzaden, after doing time for supporting Terrorist Organisations, now wants to die like a suicide bomber. Well I can help the bastard with that wish.

All this when the scrounging fucking Cunt is drawing the bastard dole. Typical workshy hate spouting Islamic Fucktarded Cunt.

I bet he only wears that rag on his fucking peanut bonce to hide the fact that he is a slapheaded cunt as well.


Emperor Hirohito

Emperor Hirohito aka Untrustworthy slinty eyed yellow fucking Cunt.

Head speccy four eyed Jap bastard during WW2 and responsible for the starvation and brutalisation of hundreds of thousands of people. Shame the dipshit Yanks did not stretch his scrawny fucking yellow neck and have him dangling from a rope.

A proper nasty historical Cunt

His wife was a pig ugly fucking munter as well.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

John Barrowman [2]

John Barrowman - sure he swings both ways and all that. But fucking having the gall to come here to the UK and hoist his flaccid acting and 'singing' career on us all is unforgivable. Plus, you can't turn on the telly these days without seeing his fucking joker like grinning rictus leering out of the screen at you in all it's teeth whitened glory. I'm not going to do any queer jokes 'cos all you cunts will proper do that.
He's a US expat Colgate advertisement of knobshining cunt. Sorted!
Nominated by Hurling Dervish