Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Dan Penteado

Dan Penteado, Fake Biker, Benefit Blagger and Leather God presenter on Rogue Traders.

A screw you England fuckwit johnny foreigner type of cunt too dumb to realise that blagging housing benefit while appearing on national TV as a leather clad biker presenter is not a good idea.

If you do that then keep your helmet on cunt.

Have you learned nothing from the the rogue traders on Rogue Traders.

There are a number of offences. Some relate to failing to disclose a bank account which his wages were paid into, others relate to failing to notify a change in his circumstances when he was hired by the BBC. Johanne McNamara, prosecuting, told magistrates: Mr Penteado was claiming housing and council tax benefit on the basis he was a full-time student with a family.

Mr Cunteado is also revered in certain circles as a leather god my old Eton fags reliably inform me. So on yer bike and take it up the arse back to Portugal dago perves delight cunt.
Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Thursday, 14 June 2012

IsACunt Redesign!

This is a Parish Notice. Shut up and listen.

The Grumpy Old Twat and TheEye are going to be screwing with website things today. And possibly tomorrow.

There will be downtime. It's what we call in the industry Random Shit Is Happening Come Back Later.

A new site will emerge; constructed from tinfoil, sticky tape and the tormented souls of the dead.

Monday, 11 June 2012

Gary Barlow

Gary Fucking Barlow, Cunt. Once a shite singer in a group of wankers called Fuck That (or something similar) now the chief toady and arse licking Cunt in charge of the Burger Van at the Queens Jubilee Concert for fucks sake.

Like the fucking Queen gives a shit about the square headed jug lugged slimy turdcunt Barlow and his wanky crooners.

The Jubilee

We have just endured a week of unquestioning jubilee arselicking that would make a North Korean blush.

 Where was the fucking balance?

We are not all Alan fucking Titmarch.

Where was an alternative opinion on this gushing shite?

60 years doing fuck all on state benefits.

60 years producing a family of inbred retards who in turn marry other inbred retards.

A jubilee celebrating her majesty the cunt.

Fuck the lot of them. Cunts
Nominated by cuntstable cuntbubble

TheEye doesn't actually agree with this cunting but the site is an equal-opportunity Cunting Zone. 
This is a properly proposed Cunting so it goes up.

Dominic Littlewood

Dominic Littlewood; short arsed, smug, slap headed pain in the fucking arse type of cunt. Champion of the fuckwitted Mongs and Greedy fucking Bastards amongst us; Like a dwarf white knight on a fucking Donkey he trots to the rescue showering us in his puerile ramblings, get to fuck you annoying Cunt

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Dead Pool [4]

We have a winner!

The Dead Pool 3 has been won by Dioclese [a-fucking-gain]
who correctly guessed the next cunt to kick the cunting bucket
... therefore becoming a dead cunt.

Here's his winning nomination :

This one could be too easy really -
but while we're on a roll with Libyan bastards,
I nominate the Lockerbie bomber,
Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi.

Well done!
You have successfully defended your title of  Dead Pool Champion.
Two in a row eh ... you're not killing the cunts yerself by any chance?

Right then!
The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick
a new 'dead cunt walking' as we move on to The Dead Pool 4.
No rule changes but in case you're new to the world of
predicting bucket kicking cunts, here's a refresher:

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
One Cunt each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and everyone picks another one,
so my top tip is to be quick off the mark and
steal someone else's dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World's Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion post and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual "Our Blog Our Rules" thing applies.

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Phil Parkinson

Phil Parkinson the Bradford City football manager is a cunt of highest order.

He doesn't know his arse from his elbow, he drops players who are in form and brings in his own cunts who aren't up to the job.
He talks a constant stream of bullshit which most people seem to be taken in by but not me.
He's that full of shit one day he's going to burst.

It won't be pretty.

Nominated by Andy U

John and Sally Bercow Bercow

John Bercow the Speaker of the House of Commons along with that cunt of a wife, a pair of cunts better suited to running a massage parlour.

Nominated by Viscount Rectum

Saturday, 7 April 2012


Woke up this morning at 3am, rushed in panic to the bog where my sphincter absolutely exploded. However, the contents of my stomach also exploded out of my mouth at the same time, covering my pants, tshirt, toilet floor, hallway carpet and walls with pre digested spaghetti bolognese.

Spent 45 fucking minutes clearing that shit up, only for me to projectile vomit again (in the toilet this time) whilst simultaneously filling my recently changed boxers up with shit.

This has been followed with me sitting on the bog, arse leaking like a boarding house tap, while I continue to heave up the lining of my stomach.

The norovirus truly is a cunt.

Nominated by Hello Shitty

Tube Drivers

I'd like to nominate those lazy tunnel rat cunt tube drivers.

Greedy, lazy good for nothing scroungers.

£850 for working during the Olympics?

Fuck off you greedy cunts.

I along with everyone else will be getting fuck all extra for working during the Olympics.

You greedy, lazy fucking tunnel rat cunts.

Nominated by Bob Geldoffs Wellingtons

Ken Bates

Leeds United Chairman Ken Bates is a tight arsed hotel building bearded cunt.

Nominated by Kim

Friday, 6 April 2012

British Police

I nominate the British Police 'Service'.

On the continent our Gallic cousins pull all the stops out to catch muslim nutter of the month Mohamed Merah and within a few days corner and then quite rightly shoot the cunt dead, saving themselves the expense of a long winded trial and the cost of incarcerating the bacon dodging twat for life.

Meanwhile back in good old Blighty, 5 overweight bobbies completely fuck up the routine arrest of a scumbag product of Blair's Britain and allow themselves to be gnawed on by a small dog!

All the time being filmed on someone's mobile phone. Useless pen pushing, desk jockeying, red tape tying but nick you for doing 31 in 30 zone CUNTS!!!

Nominated by Occams Razor

Fuel Hoarders

All those fucking mong panic buying cunts who have caused mayhem at petrol stations up and down the Country.

What a fucking bunch of useless fucking pricks.

Would not like to see these cunts in a real crisis.

God help us as its now clear that there are hordes of these fuckers out there.

Nominated by The Country is full of idiots

Monday, 12 March 2012

Diane Abbott

I can't believe nobody has suggested Diane 'Hypocrite' cunt Abbott as a cunt of the day. "Vote for me if you hate those nasty whiteys". She'd have been better off just tweeting "dirty white cunts" and said what she meant.

However, I am not saying she's a cunt, and if you think that I am, then you must be obtuse and reading this out of cuntext!

Nominated by Attila the Cun(t) AKA George Galloway

Kate Garraway

Hairy hamster faced Kate Garraway is an early morning cunt, with faux sincerity oozing from every pore. Get your arse off that settee you cunt, go and get a proper job.

Might I suggest Asda checkouts? Or maybe you'd rather be a hairy faced dinner lady? I'm not bothered, just fuck off our screens at breakfast time, makes me sick up a bit of toast.

Nominated by Cuntankerous Hag

Sunday, 11 March 2012


QVC are a right bunch of tat flogging cunts, targeting our vulnerable and impressionable OAPs, disabled and workshy, tempting them to part with their hard earned (!!) pension, DLA, income support etc. Using silver tongued smarm merchants/salespeople to ramble endlessly about how this or that piece of tat is absolutely essential, what incredible value it is, how much you deserve it; think of the thrill when you hear the creak of the gate, the tip tap of the postman's feet as he wends his way up your path, the sheer orgasmic moment as that parcel plops onto your dormat!!!!!! (pause to pant....).

But hurry, stocks are already limited.....there's a 10 minute queue on the phones.....if you don't want to wait you can use Q-Cunt......have your payment method at the ready.....have your credit card ready........QUICK, YOU OLD BAG, WE WANT YOUR FUCKING CARD DETAILS!!!!!!!!.....what's that? Only size 22 left in puce, and I wanted a 12? I'll have it!!! And relax........

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Sue Barker

Sue Barker. Gushing, stretched leather faced, finding stuff absolutely hilarious when it isnt (especially when its a quip on QoS from that cunt Tufnell or the stupid little fuckwit who played rugby and looks like Paul Daniels).

God she makes me fucking heave.

The worst female cunt on TV since Selena Scott or Anneka Rice.

Bet Cliff never went near her cunt...not because he's a gayer, but because it stunk of tennis racket handle

Nominated by dan

Jonathan Ross [4]

I can't believe that cunt Jonathan Woss is not on here?

 What a total why the fuck do you get paid so much money when you are a fuckin smug talentless speech impedimented shite cunt who has never conducted an even remotely interesting interview cos you need to take centre stage with purile jokes cunt of a cunt... what a cunt

Nominated by Corby the Northerner

Actually he is. Three times already, the cunt.

Prince Charles

In honour of whatever fucking jubilee it is this time I nominate Prince Charles.

Hypercritical, organic, away with the fairies, homeopathic, parasitic, clueless, jug eared, married to a fucking horse, cunt.

Nominated by cuntstable cuntbubble

Al Roker

Al Roker is a talentless affirmative action cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous