Saturday, 7 April 2012

Norovirus



Woke up this morning at 3am, rushed in panic to the bog where my sphincter absolutely exploded. However, the contents of my stomach also exploded out of my mouth at the same time, covering my pants, tshirt, toilet floor, hallway carpet and walls with pre digested spaghetti bolognese.

Spent 45 fucking minutes clearing that shit up, only for me to projectile vomit again (in the toilet this time) whilst simultaneously filling my recently changed boxers up with shit.

This has been followed with me sitting on the bog, arse leaking like a boarding house tap, while I continue to heave up the lining of my stomach.

The norovirus truly is a cunt.

Nominated by Hello Shitty

4 comments:

  1. This isn't anything to do with the Norovirus, it's because you voted for Nick Clegg.

    Prat!

    ReplyDelete
  2. viscount Rectum27 April 2012 at 20:50

    I know that some cunts have to die otherwise there would be standing room only on this fucking Planet, but only if you are old because its the old cunts that have fucked up and left us in the shit. however for those who wish to be immune from disease like myself, colloidal silver will kill any stomach parasite, it works I am 110 and fuck all night, try vitamin B17, curcumim for cancer, and coconut oil for recovery from Dementia and the Leverson Inquiry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gorgeous dress and lovely fabric choice! Don't be sad about sbo moving to London, think of all the lovely vintage social events you ผลบอลสด can go to. Also London has great fabric shops!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cuntstable cuntbubble2 May 2012 at 10:51

      What the fuck are you talking about you irrelevant cunt

      Delete