Saturday, 7 April 2012


Woke up this morning at 3am, rushed in panic to the bog where my sphincter absolutely exploded. However, the contents of my stomach also exploded out of my mouth at the same time, covering my pants, tshirt, toilet floor, hallway carpet and walls with pre digested spaghetti bolognese.

Spent 45 fucking minutes clearing that shit up, only for me to projectile vomit again (in the toilet this time) whilst simultaneously filling my recently changed boxers up with shit.

This has been followed with me sitting on the bog, arse leaking like a boarding house tap, while I continue to heave up the lining of my stomach.

The norovirus truly is a cunt.

Nominated by Hello Shitty

Tube Drivers

I'd like to nominate those lazy tunnel rat cunt tube drivers.

Greedy, lazy good for nothing scroungers.

£850 for working during the Olympics?

Fuck off you greedy cunts.

I along with everyone else will be getting fuck all extra for working during the Olympics.

You greedy, lazy fucking tunnel rat cunts.

Nominated by Bob Geldoffs Wellingtons

Ken Bates

Leeds United Chairman Ken Bates is a tight arsed hotel building bearded cunt.

Nominated by Kim