Saturday 26 November 2011

Neighbours



This Guest Post is by Dioclese, who won DeadPool2

Neighbours are cunts. No - not those Neighbours, my fucking neighbours!

Their dogs piss on my plants, they park their cars on the pavement in front of my door, try to steal my garden ornaments, drop oil on our drive and generally behave like a bunch of self-opinionated, egocentric fucking arseholes.

And they've all got big houses on 110% mortgages, flash cars on the never never, maxed out credit cards, and important jobs. Well, I'm glad the cunts are important at work because they're fuck all round here.

And when I complain, it's my fault their dogs have nowhere else to piss, my fault that they have to pay for the car park next door. It's always my fault whatever they do, the cunts. The other day one of the cunts came banging on my door because I complained he'd parked in front of my garage door and I couldn't get my car out. Apparently that was my fault because he couldn't find anywhere else to park! Then the cunt told me that all my neighbours hate me and I should fuck off and live somewhere else. Well, fuck him, the cunt! Fuck 'em all. I'll stay here and outlast the bastards.

But what really gets me about these cunts is that they all think I should care what they think of me, but they don't give a flying fucking fuck what I think of them because I don't fucking count. What a bunch of cunts! 

Nominated by Dioclese

Matt Lucas and David Walliams



Matt Lucas and David Walliams are cunts. They are not as funny as they think they are.

Matt Lucas is a homophobic pigugly queen who would normally only live in a dark room of a seedy gay bar in East London, and David Walliams has a bit too much fun dressing up as women and showing his ass to everyone and licking old bints' feet. In interviews they always tell each other how super hilariously funny they are.

Well, sorry, you are on my cunt-radar for having only one joke (gays and fat people and poor people and transvestites are funny, well, not necessarily, as you cunts keep demonstrating). Come fly with me to cunt-hell.
Nominated by bobolala

Guy Verhofstadt



Guy Verhofstadt is a slimy Belgian, who sits in the European Parliament thinking he is the dogs bollocks...except for one thing, he isnt, he is a cunt.

...also he looks like Ken from Citizen Smith, I liked Ken though, not that bastard. He also looks like every other Belgian on the planet, which means your children arent safe as he'd lock them in a cellar.

Then kill them.
Nominated by danidiot

Angela Merkel



Angela Merkel...Barge Arsed, Badger faced, Ice Fannied Teutonic Cunt.

Spending her time and Germanys money to buy a new Reich.

All that and she probably gives Cameron a good tug each time they meet.

A proper sly Cuntmunter

Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD