Ricky Ponting

Ricky Pointing is a gobby, gum chewing, finger-pointing, umpire disputing cunt.

Nominated by AllSeeingEye

Convict Colony
(To the tune of Yellow Submarine)

In the town where I was born, there lived a man who was a thief
And he told me of his life, stealing bread and shagging sheep.
So they put him in the nick, and then a magistrate he went to see
He said "put him on a ship, to the convict colony"
You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony
You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony

Australian Cricket Team

The Australian cricket team are all out for 98 useless cunts.

I’ve Shagged Matilda
I’ve Shagged Matilda
I’ve Shagged Matilda and so has my mate
and she moaned and she groaned
as she took it up the billabong
I’ve Shagged Matilda and so has my mate.

Nominated by All Seeing Eye

Vince Cable [2]

Vince Cable, erstwhile Secretariat Of BusyBodyNess and now shunted to the Sidings Of Shame is a naive cunt who is now saying the sting by the Telegraph has done "great damage" to the relationship between MPs and their constituents. 


No Vince, you are the one who has undermined any vestigial trace of trust between us commoners and you Great And Worthy Whores Who Will Do Anything For A Shilling, you cheap cunt. 

Nominated by Blind Pugh

Aso Mohammed Ibrahim

Read Quick Draw McGraw's lengthy and excellent cunt-nominating rant here.
A masterpiece of clinical analysis and abuse.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Seconded.
An unspeakable cunt.
And the cunt of a lawyer who represented this piece of shit.

Seconded by Caratacus

....and the cunt has been done yet again for driving while banned after murdering Amy Houston the piss taking cunt.

Seconded by banned

Swedish Girls

Swedish slappers who accuse innocent men of rape to get money from America are cuntish cunts cunting on humanity fuckin cunts.

Nominated by Jon

Germans

Germans are fucking boring, authoritarian, 
you must do vat vee say cunting cunts.

Nominated by Dick The Prick

Matthew Wright

Matthew Wright of 'The Wright Stuff' is a smug, biased cunt. 


How the cunts at Channel Five present such a shallow, Lefty- biased, uninformed show full of cunts aimed at cunts as a news and current affairs discussion I don't cunting know.

Nominated by Dan, Oxford 

Chris Huhne

Traitor Huhne, for selling this 
country down the river, is a Cancun cunt.

Nominated by banned

Ed Miliband [4]

Ed Miliband is a boring, gormless, uninspired, wet behind the ears, useless twat with a lower lip that looks like it weighs about three hundredweight (and is about as manageable) cunt.

Nominated by Caratacus

Dominic Byrne

Dominic Byrne - why the fuck does he tell you he is halfway through Oddbox on BBC when it only lasts 2 minutes? Twatcunt.

Nominated by richpaulmorris 

David Beckham

David Beckham is a World Cup bid-losing cunt.

Nominated by Dioclese

Charlie Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour, "Champagne Socialist" wanker, has been arrested, and we fervently hope that if he's found guilty and sent down that some horrible, hairy, tattooed lag rogers his poor little rich-boy arse until it prolapses, the cunt.

Nominated by Captain Haddock

Ireland

Ireland is a green, tweedy, celtic tiger with it's arse ablaze, cunt

Nominated by Dark Lochnagar

Gillian McKeith

Gillian McKeith, self-styled celebrity nutritionist,
agreeing to go on the unspeakable "Get Me Out Of Here" shite
and then acting like she is fainting and hearing voices.
The other "celebs" should slit her throat and eat her, the cunt

Nominated by Blind Pugh

Simon Cowell [3]

Simon Cowell is self-evidently a cunt.

Nominated by LSP

Wayne Sleep

Wayne Sleep is a faggy, fist up arse of a cunt.

Nominated by LSP

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is a shrill, self-obsessed, humourless, 
sectarian muslim who screams "racist" to every criticism, fat, ugly, gargoyle of a cunt. 

She should fuck off back to Uganda if she doesn't like it here. 

Nominated by Tweed


Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is a humourless, bleating, hectoring, 
useless, nauseating, Lefty, MILF bitch, who wouldn't 
recognise a joke if it jumped up and bit her on her 
fucking fat arse and who should be stoned out of our fucking misery, CUNT! 


Nominated by Barking Spider

John Hirst [3]

John Hirst is a despicable, grandma-killing cunt. 

Nominated by killemallletgodsortemout

...and that dirty cunt John Hirst as well. 

Seconded by 

Dark Lochnagar

Abu Hamza [2]

Abu Hamza is a British passport-carrying cunt.

Nominated by Captain Haddock

Abu Hamza, a fucking fat stateless cunt who should be blasted into space, the cunt!

Seconded by Dark Lochnagar

Mark Clattenburg

Mark Clattenburg is a "couldn't referee a fucking game of 
conkers between two 5 year olds withough ballsing 
it up and making himself and the game look like shit" cunt.

Nominated by HeadsonPoles

Alan Sugar [3]

Alan Sugar has in his own words been sacked, 
oh and is a cunt with his lips firmly around 
Gordon Brown's tiny jock cock the cunt.

Nominated by Paul Goddard

Celebrity Juice

Celebrity Juice and the daft cunt who presents it. 
A bloke with a face that needs improving with a claw hammer, the cunt.

Nominated by Paul Goddard

Jack Straw [4]

Jack Straw is an uber-opportunistic, flip flopping, 
unprincipled arse licker of a cunt.


His son is a prick as well.

Nominated by Anonymous
Seconded by Gillesboy

Helena Kennedy

Helena Kennedy is an opinionated snob 
who looks down her nose at the little people 
and who thinks we give a flying fuck what she has to say type of cunt!

Nominated by Cuntfinder General

Cheryl Cole [2]

Cheryl Cole is a talentless chav bimbo
who ought to have had her vocal cords cut at birth 
and should be banned from ever recording any 
of that pointless fucking ear-melting drivel she calls music, cunt. 

Nominated by Goblin Queen

Reece Kent

Reece Kent is a terminally-ill-grandfather-kicking
walking free thug of a cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

David Cameron [7]

David Cameron is a "we'll be paying fuck all more to the EUSSR 
... oh sorry, have 2.9% and look how well I've done" cunt.

Nominated by Tweed


Seconded by HeadsonPoles


Shafting the nation like that displays cuntitude of an epic level. 

Neil Lennon

Neil Lennon is a Celtic managing, refs hate us, 
everyone's against us, ginger arsepiece of a cunt. 

Nominated by RantinRab

Fire Brigades Union

Fire Brigades Union (FBU) are a threatening to take strike action on Nov 5th 


.. traditionally, their busiest night of the year ..

putting the lives of the public at unnecessary risk for the 
sake of their own ends, greedy, selfish, uncaring cunts

Nominated by Captain Haddock
Seconded by HeadsonPoles

Lauren Booth

Lauren Booth is a greedy, grasping, Muzzie-loving, 
Islam-converting, jumping-on-the-money & power bandwagon, 
member of a family of fucking slimy, greedy, 
grasping fucking cunts, cunt, 
cunt, fucking cunt, fucking cunting cunt....... CUNT!!! 

Nominated by Barking Spider

Florence Anderson

Florence Anderson Deputy Leader of Sunderland City Council, 
is a nasty, vindictive, spiteful, New Labour, 
who deserves little else but ridicule and scorn, bitch of a cunt,. 

Nominated by Dazed And Confused

Anne Diamond [2]

Anne Diamond is an only on TV because she's the office bike 
and a double bagger at that fucking patronising, 
moronic, opinionated, self-righteous cunt

Nominated by Michael J

Graham Webb-Lee

Graham Webb-Lee is clearly a white libtard apologist guilt trip merchant,
professional complainer inventing problems about the smell of frying bacon,
listen to me I know best, Muzzie-loving, traitorous, anti-bacon cunt

Nominated by Banned, HeadsonPoles and Killemallletgodsortemout

Nadine Dorries

Nadine Dorries is an expenses-scamming, lying, two-faced,
neighbour-intimidating, spiteful, flatulent, arrogant cunt.

Nominated by The Goblin Queen

George Osborne [2] and David Cameron [6]

George "I've got a face only a mother could love" Osborne
and David "God, I am SO clever" Cameron
are a pair of useless thieving Robin-Hood-In-Reverse cunts.

Nominated by Caratacus

Rufus Hound

Rufus Hound is a mockney, mouthy,
unfunny as Lenny Henry, LibDem- supporting cunt.

Nominated by Killemallletgodsortemout

Sheikh Maulana Abu Sayeed

Sheikh Maulana Abu Sayeed,
president of the Islamic Sharia Council in Britain,
said men who rape their wives should not be prosecuted
because "sex is part of marriage" and many married women
who alleged rape were lying.

Cunts one and all.

Nominated by Paul Goddard

Emily Lomax

Emily Lomax is an 'uman rights legal bod and piss head of a cunt.

Nominated by Paul Goddard

Andrew Gatward [5]

Andrew Gateward is a caps lock using,
mad as a bunch of upset snakes CUNT.

Nominated by Paul Goddard

Neil Lees [2]

Neil Lees, UAF 'comrade', is without doubt the biggest cunt
on the entire internet, the cunt.

Nominated by Dazed and Confused

Claudia Winkelman

Claudia Winkelman is a Davina McCall-copying,
vacuous, airheaded bimbo of an irritating cunt.

Nominated by Killemallletgodsortemout

Mitch Benn

Mitch Benn is a left wing, arse-sucking,
knows-which-side-his-bread-is-buttered-on,
typically-unfunny BBC 'comedian', beeboid loving cunt

Nominated by Microdave and Dontmakemelarf

George Gillett and Tom Hicks

George Gillett and Tom Hicks, uber-greedy,
buying up an English football club, running it into the ground
and still walk away with a profit, litigious Yank cunts.

Nominated by Blind Pugh

Sebastian Coe

Sebastian, Lord Coe is an Olympic sized cunt 

Nominated by Old Nick

2K Games

2K Games are a bunch of shit, good-for-nothing,
programmers who wouldn't know a non-buggy decent
bit of software if it crapped all over them from a
great height, timewasting, moneywasting, oxygenwasting
cunts.

Nominated by AllSeeingEye

Vince Cable

St Vince Cable is a leather-faced, corrupted by power,
"fuck the pledge I signed now that I can lord it over you daft fuckers"
 cunt who will never be taken seriously again and
who uses "progressive" to mean taxing us to pay for
idle, work-shy immigrant and indigenous scrotes cunt.

Nominated by Tweed 

Mark Byford

Mark Byford, is a soon to be ex-deputy director-general of the BBC
redundant Cunt with a big fat Golden Fuck Off from you Telly Tax suckers.

Nominated by banned

Irene Bishop

Dr. Irene Bishop "Executive" Head of St Michael's School in Camberwell.

Suspended a teacher for telling the truth that the education system in this country is fucked.

What a New Labour cock-sucking, elitist, cliterati cunt.

Nominated by killemallletgodsortemout

Andrew Marr [4]

Andrew Marr is a patonising jug eared cunt who thinks
" A lot of bloggers seem to be socially inadequate, pimpled, single, slightly seedy, bald, cauliflower-nosed, young men sitting in their mother's basements and ranting. They are very angry people. OK – the country is full of very angry people. Many of us are angry people at times. Some of us are angry and drunk. But the so-called citizen journalism is the spewings and rantings of very drunk people late at night."

Nominated by banned

Justin Beiber

Justin Bieber is a sissy cunt

Nominated by Jon Cuntington