Olly Smith [2]

Olly Smith, the presenter of Iron Chef UK

The fucker even has his own website for fucks sake! It won't be long before the upper class knob end is fucking everywhere on the telly.

Here's a few gems from his ego 'tastic website -

Olly cooks.
Olly loves animals.
Olly can name all four Ghostbusters. Can you?
Olly speaks French, Spanish, a nibble of German, and a tiddle of Indonesian.
Olly’s favourite films are Time Bandits, Kind Hearts and Coronets, Condorman, Jaws, The Spy Who Loved Me, The Court Jester and The Empire Strikes Back.
Olly is constantly learning to play golf.
Olly is a devotee of several TV series which he watches while travelling in between gigs – Deadwood, Curb your Enthusiasm, Dexter, The Shield, The Wire, The Sopranos, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy, The West Wing and Neighbours (between 1987 and 2004).
Olly is a massive fan of cricket, rugby union and tennis.
Olly sang as a chorister at King’s College Cambridge and won several music scholarships on the French Horn, as a singer, playing the piano and even the organ. Now he rocks out on guitar and roars his bellowing soft rock to the delight of all his neighbours.
Olly is addicted to crack cocaine.
Olly’s favourite composer is Ralph Vaughan Williams.
Olly is the world’s biggest James Bond fan and can liberally quote all the movies and recognise most Bond soundtracks within five seconds.
Olly has consistently called his friend Nick ‘Jack’ for over four years.
Olly’s favourite place for breakfast is Bill’s in Lewes.
Olly goes running. Sometimes as far as 10 inches.
Olly goes fishing.
Olly is a motherfucker who likes to play with his genitals in public and
looks a bit like an albino labia.

* the last one is true and all the others are complete bollocks taken from his cunting self flagellating website.

What a fucking prize cunt pasty!

Nominated by Hurling Dervish

Adele

Adele? What a fucking fat, overrated, 'managed to hoodwink the entire population into thinking it's cool to buy her (shit) albums', fingernails down a blackboard, seal voiced (the marine creature, not the artist whose face looks like it's been run over by a tractor), most smacked arse faced cunt in living memory.

Thank Christ for throat nodules, they've silenced her (at least momentarily - any reprieve from the blanket coverage of this cash rich, talent poor bitch is welcome). What a cunt.

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Nicolas Sarkozy [4]

Sarkozy is a dwarf monghumping cunt of the first order.

His head is so far up Merkels arse he can see the Lib Dems!

Fucking frog wankstain

Nominated by Ollie Burtons Grandad

Nick Clegg [7]

Nick Clegg is a stupid, immature cowardly cunt for going AWOL in the House of Commons after Camermong temporarily found a bit of spine and told the EU to fuck off.

I would go further; he is such a cunt that, when he dies, the post mortem will reveal that instead of bollocks he has two IOUs from the EfuckingU. The whey-faced, untrustworthy, unintelligible, economically illiterate, ring-piece of a Cunt.

Nominated by Caratacus

Boots The Chemist

Boots the cunting 'here come the girls' chemist are a bunch of sexist, patronising, utterly fucking bastardly cunts.

For fuck's sake get a new pissing tune, oh and that pair of bints pretending to have colds but still soldiering on with work, shopping etc. while the man is at home with a cold (oh, bless...), well I could just whack them in the face with a bat. And no, I haven't got an advantage card, I've wedged it up the nick of my arse.

Cunts.

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Bob Crowe

Where to start really, this fucking flapping rectum is a right 'champagne socialist' and no mistake. I don't know which is worse, the fucking idiot cunt unions who pay for his lovely cosy and lavish £120,000 a year, plus expenses lifestyle, eating in the finest restruants and expanding his fucking huge blubbery gut even further.

I honestly wish he'd fucking fall under one of his fucking trains the fat fucking cunt. Or choke to death on one of Heston Blumenthal's pork pies.

Crowe must have been to a different school than the rest of us, and I have a feeling it must have been that celebrated establishment, the school of totally enormous fat cunt parasites (which is probably where Eric Pickles went as well...)

What a bloated cokernee cunt. CUNT!

Nominated by HurlingDervish

Grayson Perry

Grayson Perry, Turner prize winning potter cunt on a candy shop Harley.

What a total cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

Jools Holland

Jools Fucking Holland, a two legged Hemorrhoid and a total Grade A Cunt. Ivory tinkling tosspot who is in dire need of a good fucking kicking

His last show ranked a 9.7 on the Cunter scale, what a fucking annoying bastard

Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD

Gary Lineker

Gary fucking Lineker is an incredibly annoying jug lugged smug Cunt.

He even presents "Cunt of the Day" the twat.

Thank Christ his shitty Crisp adverts have been fucked off our screens, Walkers Crisps?

More like Wankers Crisps. Fucking Cunt.

Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD

Striking Public Sector Workers

Striking Public Sector Workers are all greedy, lazy, bastard cunts, who don't realise what lucky cunts they are to have a job with a pension. Selfish cunts every one of them.

Nominated by Peter

BBC

The BBC are having cut backs, so now all they fucking do is show old repeats on each channel,BUT still charge the same fee !!!

NOW how the fuck can anyone call that value for money (beyond me why anyone pays them at all) people who pay them in my humble opinion must be deluded or scared old age pensioners who are scared shitless in case the DETECTOR VAN comes round ????

Nominated by EDDIE-F

Robbie Williams [3]

I would put the boot into that useless cunt Gary Barlow, but his fuckin' simian mate Robbie 'I'm a David Dickinson real deal sized cunt' Willams should really take the dog shit dipped biscuit just for being a wanky, smelly looking, ugly, fucking massive gobbed cunt of a prince cunt amongst cunts. Waazaaaa!

Nominated by HurlingDervish

Gloria Hunniford

Gloria Hunniford is an overly coiffed, gruff voiced, parsnip legged, inexplicably besequinned on a daily basis, QUNT of a man-woman.

For feck's sake, woman, relax your fucking hair, dress more casually sometimes (Dennis fucking Basso doesn't fucking need your fucking cunting endorsement 24/7) fuck me blind.......(deep, even breaths)........now fuck off.......

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Nick Ferrari

I had the missfortune to tune into that fat right wing arse licking, murdoch worshiping breakfast LBC radio presenting cunt Nick 'geezer, man of the people' Farrari this morning.

Surely this cunt speaks for all the cunt wafting black cab drivers with his pearls of pure racism and sexism, whilst all the time sucking up to Cameron and his oily fuckin' cronies.

I have honestly never listened to such a control freakery type fat, enormous Pillsbury dough boy of a 'can't climb more than two sets of stairs without heart palpitations' type fat prick in all my days.

Ferrari you have cuntishness ingrained in you like the grain in a plank of wood you thoroughbred fat cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

The Welsh

The Welsh are all cunts. The fucking lot of them. They sell you a cottage, take your money to renovate it, then burn it down and charge you to rebuild it.

And when you criticise them, they winge on and on and on, taking no fucking notice of what you are saying and accuse you of being a bigot. The bastards hate everyone but themselves.

And have you noticed that when you go into a welsh pub, they all stop talking English and revert to Welsh! Fucking ignorant cunts!

No wonder a sheep tied to a lamp post passes for a leisure centre in Cardiff. Inbred, ignorant, xenophobic, self-opinionated cunts the lot of them!

And the cunts can't sing either.

Nominated by English Bigot

Jeremy Clarkson

Where is JEREMY CLARKSON on this site?

Surely some fucker must have nominated him by now??

Fuckin rat pissed off to China (best place for him, hope he stays there!), but must say I'm really surprised his boat race isn't been on here at least a dozen times !!

What a complete CUNT !!

Nominated by Anonymous

Neighbours

This Guest Post is by Dioclese, who won DeadPool2

Neighbours are cunts. No - not those Neighbours, my fucking neighbours!

Their dogs piss on my plants, they park their cars on the pavement in front of my door, try to steal my garden ornaments, drop oil on our drive and generally behave like a bunch of self-opinionated, egocentric fucking arseholes.

And they've all got big houses on 110% mortgages, flash cars on the never never, maxed out credit cards, and important jobs. Well, I'm glad the cunts are important at work because they're fuck all round here.

And when I complain, it's my fault their dogs have nowhere else to piss, my fault that they have to pay for the car park next door. It's always my fault whatever they do, the cunts. The other day one of the cunts came banging on my door because I complained he'd parked in front of my garage door and I couldn't get my car out. Apparently that was my fault because he couldn't find anywhere else to park! Then the cunt told me that all my neighbours hate me and I should fuck off and live somewhere else. Well, fuck him, the cunt! Fuck 'em all. I'll stay here and outlast the bastards.

But what really gets me about these cunts is that they all think I should care what they think of me, but they don't give a flying fucking fuck what I think of them because I don't fucking count. What a bunch of cunts! 

Nominated by Dioclese

Matt Lucas and David Walliams

Matt Lucas and David Walliams are cunts. They are not as funny as they think they are.

Matt Lucas is a homophobic pigugly queen who would normally only live in a dark room of a seedy gay bar in East London, and David Walliams has a bit too much fun dressing up as women and showing his ass to everyone and licking old bints' feet. In interviews they always tell each other how super hilariously funny they are.

Well, sorry, you are on my cunt-radar for having only one joke (gays and fat people and poor people and transvestites are funny, well, not necessarily, as you cunts keep demonstrating). Come fly with me to cunt-hell.

Nominated by bobolala

Guy Verhofstadt

Guy Verhofstadt is a slimy Belgian, who sits in the European Parliament thinking he is the dogs bollocks...except for one thing, he isnt, he is a cunt.

...also he looks like Ken from Citizen Smith, I liked Ken though, not that bastard. He also looks like every other Belgian on the planet, which means your children arent safe as he'd lock them in a cellar.

Then kill them.

Nominated by danidiot

Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel...Barge Arsed, Badger faced, Ice Fannied Teutonic Cunt.

Spending her time and Germanys money to buy a new Reich.

All that and she probably gives Cameron a good tug each time they meet.

A proper sly Cuntmunter

Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD