Ricky Ponting

Ricky Pointing is a gobby, gum chewing, finger-pointing, umpire disputing cunt.

Nominated by AllSeeingEye

Convict Colony
(To the tune of Yellow Submarine)

In the town where I was born, there lived a man who was a thief
And he told me of his life, stealing bread and shagging sheep.
So they put him in the nick, and then a magistrate he went to see
He said "put him on a ship, to the convict colony"
You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony
You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony

Australian Cricket Team

The Australian cricket team are all out for 98 useless cunts.

I’ve Shagged Matilda
I’ve Shagged Matilda
I’ve Shagged Matilda and so has my mate
and she moaned and she groaned
as she took it up the billabong
I’ve Shagged Matilda and so has my mate.

Nominated by All Seeing Eye

Vince Cable [2]

Vince Cable, erstwhile Secretariat Of BusyBodyNess and now shunted to the Sidings Of Shame is a naive cunt who is now saying the sting by the Telegraph has done "great damage" to the relationship between MPs and their constituents. 


No Vince, you are the one who has undermined any vestigial trace of trust between us commoners and you Great And Worthy Whores Who Will Do Anything For A Shilling, you cheap cunt. 

Nominated by Blind Pugh

Aso Mohammed Ibrahim

Read Quick Draw McGraw's lengthy and excellent cunt-nominating rant here.
A masterpiece of clinical analysis and abuse.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Seconded.
An unspeakable cunt.
And the cunt of a lawyer who represented this piece of shit.

Seconded by Caratacus

....and the cunt has been done yet again for driving while banned after murdering Amy Houston the piss taking cunt.

Seconded by banned

Swedish Girls

Swedish slappers who accuse innocent men of rape to get money from America are cuntish cunts cunting on humanity fuckin cunts.

Nominated by Jon

Germans

Germans are fucking boring, authoritarian, 
you must do vat vee say cunting cunts.

Nominated by Dick The Prick

Matthew Wright

Matthew Wright of 'The Wright Stuff' is a smug, biased cunt. 


How the cunts at Channel Five present such a shallow, Lefty- biased, uninformed show full of cunts aimed at cunts as a news and current affairs discussion I don't cunting know.

Nominated by Dan, Oxford 

Chris Huhne

Traitor Huhne, for selling this 
country down the river, is a Cancun cunt.

Nominated by banned

Ed Miliband [4]

Ed Miliband is a boring, gormless, uninspired, wet behind the ears, useless twat with a lower lip that looks like it weighs about three hundredweight (and is about as manageable) cunt.

Nominated by Caratacus

Dominic Byrne

Dominic Byrne - why the fuck does he tell you he is halfway through Oddbox on BBC when it only lasts 2 minutes? Twatcunt.

Nominated by richpaulmorris 

David Beckham

David Beckham is a World Cup bid-losing cunt.

Nominated by Dioclese

Charlie Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour, "Champagne Socialist" wanker, has been arrested, and we fervently hope that if he's found guilty and sent down that some horrible, hairy, tattooed lag rogers his poor little rich-boy arse until it prolapses, the cunt.

Nominated by Captain Haddock

Ireland

Ireland is a green, tweedy, celtic tiger with it's arse ablaze, cunt

Nominated by Dark Lochnagar

Gillian McKeith

Gillian McKeith, self-styled celebrity nutritionist,
agreeing to go on the unspeakable "Get Me Out Of Here" shite
and then acting like she is fainting and hearing voices.
The other "celebs" should slit her throat and eat her, the cunt

Nominated by Blind Pugh

Simon Cowell [3]

Simon Cowell is self-evidently a cunt.

Nominated by LSP

Wayne Sleep

Wayne Sleep is a faggy, fist up arse of a cunt.

Nominated by LSP

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is a shrill, self-obsessed, humourless, 
sectarian muslim who screams "racist" to every criticism, fat, ugly, gargoyle of a cunt. 

She should fuck off back to Uganda if she doesn't like it here. 

Nominated by Tweed


Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is a humourless, bleating, hectoring, 
useless, nauseating, Lefty, MILF bitch, who wouldn't 
recognise a joke if it jumped up and bit her on her 
fucking fat arse and who should be stoned out of our fucking misery, CUNT! 


Nominated by Barking Spider

John Hirst [3]

John Hirst is a despicable, grandma-killing cunt. 

Nominated by killemallletgodsortemout

...and that dirty cunt John Hirst as well. 

Seconded by 

Dark Lochnagar

Abu Hamza [2]

Abu Hamza is a British passport-carrying cunt.

Nominated by Captain Haddock

Abu Hamza, a fucking fat stateless cunt who should be blasted into space, the cunt!

Seconded by Dark Lochnagar

Mark Clattenburg

Mark Clattenburg is a "couldn't referee a fucking game of 
conkers between two 5 year olds withough ballsing 
it up and making himself and the game look like shit" cunt.

Nominated by HeadsonPoles