Saturday, 26 November 2011

Neighbours



This Guest Post is by Dioclese, who won DeadPool2

Neighbours are cunts. No - not those Neighbours, my fucking neighbours!

Their dogs piss on my plants, they park their cars on the pavement in front of my door, try to steal my garden ornaments, drop oil on our drive and generally behave like a bunch of self-opinionated, egocentric fucking arseholes.

And they've all got big houses on 110% mortgages, flash cars on the never never, maxed out credit cards, and important jobs. Well, I'm glad the cunts are important at work because they're fuck all round here.

And when I complain, it's my fault their dogs have nowhere else to piss, my fault that they have to pay for the car park next door. It's always my fault whatever they do, the cunts. The other day one of the cunts came banging on my door because I complained he'd parked in front of my garage door and I couldn't get my car out. Apparently that was my fault because he couldn't find anywhere else to park! Then the cunt told me that all my neighbours hate me and I should fuck off and live somewhere else. Well, fuck him, the cunt! Fuck 'em all. I'll stay here and outlast the bastards.

But what really gets me about these cunts is that they all think I should care what they think of me, but they don't give a flying fucking fuck what I think of them because I don't fucking count. What a bunch of cunts! 

Nominated by Dioclese

Matt Lucas and David Walliams



Matt Lucas and David Walliams are cunts. They are not as funny as they think they are.

Matt Lucas is a homophobic pigugly queen who would normally only live in a dark room of a seedy gay bar in East London, and David Walliams has a bit too much fun dressing up as women and showing his ass to everyone and licking old bints' feet. In interviews they always tell each other how super hilariously funny they are.

Well, sorry, you are on my cunt-radar for having only one joke (gays and fat people and poor people and transvestites are funny, well, not necessarily, as you cunts keep demonstrating). Come fly with me to cunt-hell.
Nominated by bobolala

Guy Verhofstadt



Guy Verhofstadt is a slimy Belgian, who sits in the European Parliament thinking he is the dogs bollocks...except for one thing, he isnt, he is a cunt.

...also he looks like Ken from Citizen Smith, I liked Ken though, not that bastard. He also looks like every other Belgian on the planet, which means your children arent safe as he'd lock them in a cellar.

Then kill them.
Nominated by danidiot

Angela Merkel



Angela Merkel...Barge Arsed, Badger faced, Ice Fannied Teutonic Cunt.

Spending her time and Germanys money to buy a new Reich.

All that and she probably gives Cameron a good tug each time they meet.

A proper sly Cuntmunter

Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD

Friday, 25 November 2011

Cybermen



Cybermen, what a total bunch of Intergalactic Cunts.

Scary? My arse, fucking useless monsters of the first degree.

Looked like the BBC grabbed the local pissheads, gave them some tins of special brew to neck down then covered them in tinfoil and stuck a hoover on their backs.

Fucking rubbish spastic Cunts.

Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD

Kitty Brucknell



Kitty Brucknell from X-Factor is a freaky cunt
 
Nominated by King Binge

Ricky Gervais



Ricky Gervais is a plagiaristic, should be sued for nicking ideas of others, fat ex-new romantic eyeliner wearing, double chinned Simon Cowel look a like spastic, bum boy stephen marchant loving, Celebrity arse hole licking, as funny as a dose of tetanus, piggy eyed, penis faced, pot bellied fucking arse holing wanker cunt prick of the highest order.

And, no cunt has nominated him yet so I fucking will. I wouldn't piss on your coffin, and I'd get more entertainment from watching fuckin' Dulux drying!
Fuck off Gervias you cunt!

Nominated by HurlingDervish

FIFA


Who the fuck do FIFA think they are to tell us not wear poppies on football kit. Those Nazi loving, corrupt, bribe taking, Jew hating cunts would not be in a position to dictate anything if brave British soldiers had not lost their lives liberating Europe from the Third Reich.

Ungrateful cunts. How fucking dare they insult their liberators.

Can someone take that obese cunt Septic Bladder outside and stone him to death.
Nominated by peter

Nicolas Sarkozy



Nicolas Sarkozy is an ungrateful French Cunt who spends his day sucking German Cock whilst telling his country's liberators, the Brits, to Fuck Off. Today on armistice day we remembered those who were killed liberating his county TWICE from German occupation. Does he remember, does he give a fuck?

No he is too busy setting up a new Vichy Government for the Fourth Reich run by Angela Mengle/Merkel.

What a waste of British blood to allow a cunt like him to exist.

Nominated by peter

Brodie Clark [2]



Brodie Clark, what an untrustworthy,incompetent, sly, Vulcan eared, pointy chinned Cunt of the first order.

Lets all the shit of the Universe into the UK but its not his fault. Remember the Whitemoor Prison Inquiry where you could not tell the truth?

You lying bastard, lets hope you get royally butt fucked this time. Fucking Cunt.

Nominated by Carole Upshall

Robbie Keane



Robbie Keane.....hateful pisshole-in-the-snow eyed, diving, sly handballing, cheating, pleading for players to be booked, roll and fire an arrow fuckwitted spide, I've always supported every team that wants to sign me cunt
Nominated by bob rocks

Lord Taylor of Warwick



Lord Taylor is a thieving lying old Tory cunt who got away with a cushy prison sentence only to walk straight out into the House of Lords again!

By all accounts another Jeffrey Archer! When is this fucking country going to get its act together and stop letting these bastards get away with robbing us all blind...(give me fucking strength!)

Nominated by EDDIE-F

Occupy Exeter



"Occupy Exeter" bunch of wannabe cunts, here's their Blogspot homepage

Go on, tell them what you think cunters.

Nominated by banned

Seth McFarlane



Seth McFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad other boring shit) is a repetitive paedophile cunt.

All his stories contain babies or really young kids. What a fucking nonce.
Plus all the series he has a hand in are fucking shit, stereotypical, boring, as unfunny as an Eddie Murphy movie.

The yanks don't even want his shit, so like the twats we are we end up paying for this shit out of our license fee only for it to end up on bloody channel BBC 53 or whatever graveyard shit channel it is.

The prick probably costs me a fucking pack of fags every week.

Rancid cunt.
Nominated by Hurling Dervish

Internet Explorer


Internet fucking Explorer, a proper Cunty fucking program devised by a proper bunch of Cunts.

Upgrade this you Microsoft bastards.
Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Jimmy Saville


Jimmy Savile is a dead disturbing cunt.
Nominated by cuntstable cuntbubble

Mary, Queen of Scots


Mary, Queen of Scots: Queen of Cunts more like. Lacked morals by being another Jock cousin shagger and even married a bastard Frenchman.

Only the thick as fuck Jocks could think that a God bothering Swamp pig of a woman was a martyr.
Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD

Charles Dunstone



Charles Dunstone the chief executive of TalkTalk/Tiscrapi as a 110%, gold plated CUNT. I'm sick of his shite "communications" company throttling my bandwidth to sub dial-up speeds. And as for the jokingly called "tech support" - they couldn't diagnose a child's abacus.

I hope he dies a slow and painful death...
Nominated by microdave

Downton Abbey


The entire cast, crew and writers of that kaleidoscope of cunts that is 'Downton Abbey' for a Daily Mail sanctioned fucking upper class ridden pile of steaming fucking donkey turds.

A cavalcade of racist, sexist, ageist and just about any other 'ist' you can care to mention.
Cuntflaps!
Nominated by HurlingDervish

Roscoe Conkling "Fatty" Arbuckle



Roscoe Conkling "Fatty" Arbuckle is a silent Film star type of Cunt. He was the original OJ; a fat, unfunny Yank and a murdering rapist who got off due to his fame and immense fucking gut.
Anyone with a name like Conkling deserves to be fucking Cunted. His parents were obviously a pair of typical American retards
Nominated by OLLIE BURTONS GRANDAD